Changing the world, saving it oh man, so much of this resonated. I grew up inside the great commission. Converts as notches on the belt of righteousness those souls bound to heaven because of my witness. Then it was activism, a policy I was sure would finally change the world for my kids. Not selfish. I have six of them, they’d already lived through too much, I wanted the world to be safer for them.
Then it was therapy. EMDR. I went in capable, holding all of it together. I was one of the small percentage of clients that EMDR fails. EMDR tore me apart. I’m not the same competent person I was before that room. I never will be.
I’ve been through the list Church, policy, therapy. Find the one lever, pull it, fix everyone. It never held, not for me.
What’s left, for me, isn’t healing l. I’ve exhausted the desire for that. It isn’t saving the world. It’s just remembering to be compassionate with the person in front of me. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got now.
Thank you for sharing. I’ll be 76 in a couple months, and one advantage in being older is that it is much easier to understand that the changes I would like to see happen will not happen in the few years or decades that I have left. So I must come to terms with that, and I have for the most part. What to do then? Find a way to contribute. Hold on to hope. Wake up each morning in awe of how amazing that is. Grow food. Write. Make the best decisions I can each day. Don’t get highjacked emotionally by how fu**ed up our species is, and remember to count the ways us hairless apes have done good. And decide it is enough.
Changing the world, saving it oh man, so much of this resonated. I grew up inside the great commission. Converts as notches on the belt of righteousness those souls bound to heaven because of my witness. Then it was activism, a policy I was sure would finally change the world for my kids. Not selfish. I have six of them, they’d already lived through too much, I wanted the world to be safer for them.
Then it was therapy. EMDR. I went in capable, holding all of it together. I was one of the small percentage of clients that EMDR fails. EMDR tore me apart. I’m not the same competent person I was before that room. I never will be.
I’ve been through the list Church, policy, therapy. Find the one lever, pull it, fix everyone. It never held, not for me.
What’s left, for me, isn’t healing l. I’ve exhausted the desire for that. It isn’t saving the world. It’s just remembering to be compassionate with the person in front of me. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got now.
It’s hard to let go of trying to change the e world.
Thank you for sharing. I’ll be 76 in a couple months, and one advantage in being older is that it is much easier to understand that the changes I would like to see happen will not happen in the few years or decades that I have left. So I must come to terms with that, and I have for the most part. What to do then? Find a way to contribute. Hold on to hope. Wake up each morning in awe of how amazing that is. Grow food. Write. Make the best decisions I can each day. Don’t get highjacked emotionally by how fu**ed up our species is, and remember to count the ways us hairless apes have done good. And decide it is enough.